People love to say, “Step out of your comfort zone.”

But what does that actually mean?

For a long time, I thought it meant forcing yourself to do things you dread — walking into a crowded party, chatting with strangers, or signing up for karaoke night when you’d rather be home in your hoodie.

But with time, I realised it isn’t about torturing yourself with activities you hate.

It’s about questioning the beliefs you’ve carried for years — the ones that quietly shape how you see yourself.

The Labels We Wear

When I was young, my mum often told me I was too introverted. Too quiet. Too shy to make friends.

So I grew up wearing labels like: introverted, anti-social, nerdy…

And I believed them. I assumed making friends would drain me, socialising was pointless, and being quiet was somehow “cooler.”

The more I believed it, the more “evidence” I found to back it up. That’s how the brain works — once you accept a belief, you’ll find endless reasons to confirm it.

Psychologists call this confirmation bias: we notice everything that proves us right, and ignore the things that don’t.

So if I thought socialising was a waste of time, every awkward moment became proof. Every time I stayed home felt like the smarter choice. And slowly, the belief grew stronger — not because it was true, but because I kept feeding it.

Why Our Brain Loves Autopilot

Our brains are wired to be efficient. Deep thinking takes effort, so the brain prefers shortcuts.

Beliefs become those shortcuts — ready-made instructions for how to act without having to re-think everything from scratch.

In other words, once we believe something, the brain saves energy by sticking to it.

That’s why labels and assumptions feel so natural: they’re comfortable, familiar, and don’t cost much mental energy to maintain.

But here’s the catch: the brain doesn’t care if the belief is right or wrong, accurate or inaccurate. It only cares that it saves energy.

That’s why we can live inside old beliefs for years — not because they’re true, but because they’re easy.

Stepping out of the comfort zone interrupts that autopilot. It forces the brain to pause, re-examine, and ask:

“Is this belief actually serving me, or am I just running on an outdated setting?”

Collecting New Evidence

As I got older, I found myself in more situations where socialising wasn’t optional. These included work events, networking sessions, and even casual community meetups.

In the past, I would have avoided them, or if I had to go, I’d stay quiet and disappear as soon as possible.

But this time, I approached them differently. I didn’t force myself to suddenly be outgoing or loud.

I simply allowed myself to be open, to test whether my old beliefs about being “anti-social” were really true.

And to my surprise, the outcome was different. Conversations that I thought would drain me actually felt enjoyable. I found myself laughing, listening, and even sharing stories.

Instead of awkward silence, I was met with genuine curiosity. People asked me questions, included me, and appreciated my presence.

Slowly, I began to notice something I had never considered before: I wasn’t terrible at making connections.

In fact, people around me told me I was approachable, easy to talk to, even calming to be around. These little pieces of feedback didn’t fit the old story I’d been carrying for so long.

Yes, I may still be introverted — though in some situations I am sure I am be pretty extroverted too (surprise, right? XD).

I’ve realised it’s not really about being one or the other. I recharge best when I’m in the right moment, no matter whether I’m surrounded by people or completely on my own.

But those experiences showed me something important: the labels I carried — “anti-social,” “bad at making friends,” “too quiet” — weren’t accurate.

By being open to these moments, I was able to collect new evidence and reshape how I see myself.

What Does It Really Mean?
For me, stepping out of the comfort zone isn’t about forcing yourself into things you hate or pretending to be someone else.

It’s about questioning the old beliefs I’ve been carrying, testing them in real life, and collecting new evidence of who you really are.

I used to believe I was anti-social, bad at making friends, and too quiet to connect with people.

But by staying open in the right moments, I discovered something different. I can enjoy conversations. I can make friends. I can even stand in front of people and speak.

Stepping out of the comfort zone didn’t turn me into a new person. It revealed a more accurate version of the person I already was.

And maybe that’s what it means for all of us. Not to become someone else — but to stop living by outdated beliefs, and to see ourselves more clearly.

So what about you? Which belief have you been carrying that might not actually be true?